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Saintfear
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read my profile
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Name: Rob
Metro: Buffalo
Birthday: 12/28/1986
Gender: Male
Interests: DDR, ownage, girls, ice cream, Fire, Mischeif, Inflatable lawn decorations, Dennys,
Expertise: Kicking ass, being cool, making people laugh,causeing mischeif
Occupation: Operations
Industry: Retail
Message: message me
AIM:  Saintfear
Yahoo:  potholesidewalk
Member Since:
4/4/2004
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| rofl, myspace totaly took over this sites job
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| Long overdue for one of these,
im gunna keep it short, cause when they are gigantic no one ever reads them, anyways
1. i quit tops, lots of bullshit, and i couldnt take it anymore, so i
left, i was sick of being shit on at work, they cut my hours down to
16, what is that?! honestly, and i found out from my buddy who works
there, that tom ( my manager) basicaly said, im glad hes gone,
i never did anything to tom, but he has to be a dick head.
2. I got into a car accident, oh yes, galleria mall, wasnt
my fault, and im not paying a dime, but basicaly i was driving towards
the food court, around the bend by kaufmans, and this lady was pulling
up, to come back on the road, she got really close to my car, without
stoping, i then screamed wtf, are you gunna hit me bitch!
and then she hit me, which was like WTF
her car got the front bumper tore off, on the right side, and my right
side of the car got dented in by the back tire, and it was grinding on
the tire, so they came and towed it and now i have a shitty ass rental
car, and i fucking hate it!
which im not paying for technically but its a 4 cylnider so im still
not used to accellerating with it, so im wasting lots of gas by
accellerating hard, and im paying so much for gas its rediulous.
3. me and sara are amazing, i love her so much,
4. should be getting a job this week, i hope, going to apply at tullys
today, i think that would be sweet, shawns also looking for a job so
its a challenge.
aside for that, saras leaving for maryland for christmas  im gunna be all alone,
but it will make me want her more when she comes back 
allright more later i guess
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| Updates, maybe?
Well its decemeber, christmas soon, its gunna be a mixed kinda thing.
cause its gunna be like the christmas of years past, of hanging out
with my buddys, and kicking ass. and probly some dennys in there.
but sara is going to be like out of state, from 22nd- my birthday (28th)
which is lame cause ive seen her every day since oct something, i think the 22nd.
so not having sara around for those days is gunna be like, really
werid, but its enveitable, shes going to maryland to visit family.
so yesterday was mine and sara's one month, i brought her flowers, and
we went to eye-hop for breakfast, i pulled an all dayer, heh, cause i
worked the night before, then we went to tops, and bought some brownine
mix and some exlax, but not exlax, but this like syrup that does the
same thing, i forgot the name cause the bottle is in the car and im so
not going to get it.
anyways, i put some fruit loops in the browines too, bad idea, they
smelled like shit, we didnt try them though, just tossed em, cause if
they smell like that people would know somethings wrong with em.
chux birthday was the other day, i got him a guniess pint glass, cause hes now the big 21`
watch the fuck out
what else, sara had work yesterday from 5-9, so when she went to work i
went to the mall, i was going to meet up with chux who was gunna help
me go shopping but there was so many people at the mall, the desire to
shop was gone, i just wanted to hang at the mall, like old times, it
was alot of fun, but of course just like old times, i dropped to much
money into that arcade.
lame
i really gotta work on budgeting my money, christmas time, IM HORRIBLE AT keeping my money, its terrible.
but its only 1 month out of the year that i lose control
i have about 3 or 4 months to get my 1100 bucks for my car insurance, gunna have to get a second job in jan, totaly lame.
was saposta go with shawn yesterday to get his next tattoo, but he
wanted to go with leigh tommrow ( which is today now cause this was
yesterday)
but The fat bitch ( harmony) showed up at the mall, and shawn left with her, without saying goodbye, its like, wtf
leigh told me that it wasnt the first time this week that shawn hung out with her either.
part of me is REALLY pissed at shawn right now, for even talking to her anymore. But i understand why he is.
hes now the one without someone, and that is the worst feeling in the
world, i feel like its myfault that hes talking to harmony, cause
i spend so much time with sara, but they cant be pissed at me for
it, cause it was everyone does, seeing each other everyday when
you have a new gf is just something that you want, expecially when its
someone you really care about,
i love sara, its not like i just randomly picked her out of a crowd,
asked her out and then started saying i love her, ive known her for a
while, and just like with all my best friends, you dont just become
one,
my BEST friends
shawn,
mike
chux
scott
&
sara
you become a best friend to me when you get tied into my memories with ALOT more good times then bad,
and shawn is the best of the best, shawn and me could write books about our good times,
but i feel like im letting him down right now, and with his cell off
right now its impossible to get ahold of him, which really sucks.
i hate harmony, when i saw her at the mall, my stomach twiched.
sometimes i wish i had a vagina so i could beat the shit out of some bitches
my if i had a vagina HIT LIST
Harmony
Melanie
Crystal
Vicky
Rosie Odonell
SAMANTHA
yeah, some exgirlfriends on there
so what.
people can piss you off in life, and people will its part of life,
sometimes people piss you off where you cant ever forgive them, and
then sometimes people can be forgiven
if i pissed any of my friends or best firends off im sorry, and come christmas things will be alot better,
today i have no idea what im doing excpet working in 12 hours, i should probly nap but im not tired, lame.
being lathargic rocks.
i really dont know what im trying to say in this post,
but i want to say it.
:shrugs:
im out
EDIT
well i managed to catch some sleep
and had a very intresting, violent, confusing, dream.
its intresting how dreams can speak to or for you when you cant muster the words
ive been doing to things for the past month
Smothering and Neglect
ive been smothering sara, keeping her from her friends, and at the same
time neglecting my friends, some more particular then others.
im just going to say things, let the dust settle, and then wait to see
what happins next, thats how ive been most of my life and i think im
respected for doing things of this nature.
So lets begin
Im going out with sara, and shes amazing, i could see her every day and
never get sick of it, which is good, and bad at the same time, when you
see the same person every day, it kills the magic you have with
them, ive been smothering sara, by trying to spend every extra
avable moment with her, and i know ive been keeping her from her
friends almost, and i dont want to be an asshole and do that,
im not just hurting her either, im hurting my self and my friends at the same time too
i mean, in novemeber it was like,
get up when sara calls
shower
go see sara
go to work
sleep
get up when sara calls
thats no way to live life, i mean it is and its amazing, but its whats called a rut.
where nothing new happins and everything is repeated. which ruins it slowly.
i didnt go to jnc at all in novemeber, this is the longest dance video game drought ive hit ever.
which sucks because playing keeps my weight at a constant level, ive gained weight im back up to 235 now
i havent called like chux scott or shawn to hang out really either, and i feel like a total ass about it.
want to know what the dream was,
sara strapped to a bed, a shadowy figure, loomed over her
with a big red heart shapped pillow, and me suspended from the ceiling,
with a noose around my neck, and a chair under my feet.
my friends in a chamber behind me, with flames,
and thats the dream,
oh yeah, and add in me saying i love you, and the shadowy figgure
smothering sara, taking an inch off my chair and turning the flames up
in the chaimber,
and me saying it over and over again.
my dreams dont fuck around, they get right to the point and try and scare the fuck out of you.
im gratefull i guess.
sara called me and woke me up before the dream got to violent, im one
of those people where i can die in a dream and the dream keeps going. i
think it means i can accept my own mortailitly.
sara is going to be going on vacation to maryland in a few short weeks,
i need to get ready for that mentaly, so i dont think im going see her
the rest of the weekend, unless she really wants to see me, cause
allready knowing that i wont see her today is making me kinda sick, and
thats not right
im allways the one that loves the other more in a relationship, its
nothing new, its because i dont have much love with my core
family. so i know this is a problem im causing.
so incunclusion
im working on balancing hanging with friends and hanging with freinds.
cause i know shawn really needs his best friend by his side, hes in a rough state still and i should be helping him.
i feel like an ass, even though it doesnt seem like i didnt do anything
wrong, ive forsaken the happyness of my friends for my own.
something i HATE doing.
life is moving so fast right now.
i need a monster.
and another job, fucking car insurance
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| oh man, where to begin, the past 3 weeks have been totaly AMAZING,
because ive been with sara everyday, she means so much to me, that if i
ever lost her, i think that i wouldnt ever truly smile again,
sara brings out a happyness that ive never felt before, im lost without
her now, ive found my girl, this is it, i can honestly say, if i could
be with sara for the rest of my life, i would be truly happy.
i know i havent been very consistant with going online and posting on stuff, but till the hoildays are over its gunna be tricky
so till my next post, happy thanks giving, and good luck x-mas shopping.
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| remeber how i used to bitch and bitch and bitch on this thing, about
all the shitty things in my life, and how i was so depressed about not
having a girlfriend or the shitty problems i was having with this that
and the other thing,
And Then remember when i used to post about the amazing adventures that
i had with my close friends, and how the highlights of the weeks were
going to the mall
i can honestly say, that i only miss one of those, and it aint the first one
Sara is the best thing that has happined to me since ddr and all the
friends and good times that brought. Shes everything i could want or
need in a girl, and i didnt even know it for awhile,
Kinda like how the remote control is right in plane sight, but you just
dont see it siting there, so you look for it, and then kinda give up
and get off your ass to push the buttons on the tv, and then you get
pissed off cause you have to keep getting up, and then you find the
remote, and its like omg, huzza, now i can stay in the warm bed!
thats how it is with sara, for a while, i didnt even realize how much i
loved her, i just saw her as a best friend, then in one of my caffine
fueled all night, self inflicted pitty party rants, i thought about her
with another guy and me not hanging out with her, and then it clicked,
i remember it like it was yesterday, you know, that feeling where you
learned something kinda distrubing kinda werid and totaly like
WOAH, like a really really good twist ending to a great story,
where you get all tingly and such, thats how i felt when i realized i
loved her.
and when i think about her, i still get that feeling. but even when i
realized i loved her, i didnt want to fuck things up, my
selfconscousness, which i love SO much, (sarcasim) made me think that
she didnt like me, etc. that i wasnt good enough for her, so i
tested sara, to see if she would still like me even at my most extreme
levels of crazy, angry, and sad, and i think it made her like me more,
which in turn made me like her even more, then one day when i was
trying to convince myself to ask her out, mr. chux came along, and
basicaly said,
Rob, just fucking ask her out you damn pansy!
i then tryed to set up some elaborate plan of taking her somewhere
romantic, but it feel threw like the majority of my elaborate plans,
and i asked her out, and it was one of the best decisions i ever
made,
i pray that i never lose sara, i can say that this is honestly love,
ive said i love you to a few of my ex girlfriends, but i didnt know
what the fuck i was talking about, cause look now, i barly see anyof
them, and thank god for most of them,
but i think if sara ever said, i dont love you, go die, im pretty shure i wouldnt survive that,
id deffinatly go on a drug overdose, and then start killing people
randomly till the cops shot my broken heart of my body with magnum
sized exit wounds.
anyways, i hope that never happins,
i miss hanging with my friends alot, i miss going to the mall like it
was nobodys bussiness, but everyone moves on and such, and does stuff
called life, some friends are down on there luck, and some are better
off, but its life, the endless rollercoaster that we cant control, but
im always there for my firends and family, just like voltron, you
get better results with the more parts you have.
i love the fact that my friends find that funny, other people are like wtf!
but people understand me, and they are my firends, im really blessed i
think, even if my acne will never go away, people aceppt me for who i
am,
i feel like crying, but i wont, i gotta call someone and then shower and visit the most amazing girl evar!
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